Spanking...not what you would think

Spanking.  I always thought, who in the hell would voluntarily want to be spanked?   It seemed like a form of adult humiliation.  So imagine my surprise when I enjoyed an accidental hard smack to my behind.  I asked for a mother smack and my boyfriend looked at me with surprise, then doubt.  He finally did it again after I assured him it was what I wanted.  He issued a tiny weak smack and was surprised at my fervent request for another hard one.  Doubtfully, he did it as he winced for me.  All I felt was a sting and then warmth that spread to my privates...I needed another.  After we discussed it. He was concerned about hurting me and so we discussed the introduction of a safe word.  Next I laid across his lap and waited for the spanking.  I had to tell him to do it harder because he was really out of his element and was vehemently opposed to laying a hand on me in a hurtful way.  During the course of the experience I was transcended by a pain that bordered on the cusp of pain and pleasure and the transfer of power and trust.  He felt me let go and trust him to take me to that place of abandon and that kind of trust (along with the orgasms I was having) turned him on too.  Surprisingly this has become one if our favorite activities and in a strange way the exchange of trust has brought us closer.  Besides the fact that I love feeling his power and masculinity with every smack and get turned on by it every time.  Believe me if it hadn't happened to me I would still be scratching my head at the crazy ass woman who would want a spanking; never suspecting that crazy ass would be me!

I have always loved the feeling of being restrained when having sex, but I have rarely explores this option as it takes a lot of trust to be able to do this.  Let's face it, there are not a lot of people that you can put this type is trust into their hands.  I am a successful, highly educated woman who had always stood on her own two feet.  I am a type "a" control freak in my daily life.  Then I met my fiancé.  He broke down the walls I had built up with patience, love and understanding. He proved his devotion and how much he cared for me over many years.  Oddly, the more he proved his devotion, the more I find my inhibitions being freed.  For his piece, he is a highly sexual, masculine being, but had been in a very vanilla and closed off sexual relationship for the bulk of his life; he was just happy with sex when he got it and never imagined anything more.  I was too in a closed off relationship with my ex husband, but I had always enjoyed sex and it many facets.  We were both ready for an awakening when we met.  I couldn't have guessed, however, the kind if sexual needs that bubbled under the surface for me and how it would speak to his hidden needs too!  It started with sharing our sexual fantasies, then quickly turned into making some if the desired fantasies come true.  We were enjoying not being made ashamed of our wants.  But something was happening to me the more alive he became.  His masculinity started to show up with more confidence.  His need to care for me and to please me sexually increased.  The confident control and sexual mastery began to take hold...and frankly that shit turned me on and made me want to see more of it. His control made me want to submit; it made me want to be controlled; it made me yearn for it.  The more I yearned for it, the more he wanted to give me what I wanted.   One day he playfully swatted my ass and caught it just right so that it ended up being a solid hard smack.  He started apologizing and asking me if I was alright, but all I kept thinking was how turned on I got.  And that is how our journey began.  I am finding more out about myself and submission and he is about himself and domination.  I am discovering that submission is not what I thought or feared it would be, but instead a powerful choice lending itself to a mutual trust and exchange built on something deep and lasting.  This is a journey that I am on and I am bringing you along because it may dispel for you the myths that it is dispelling for me.